i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
