I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Randomize
