Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
