I swear she didn't look like that last week.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
this will be a night to untag.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Randomize
