I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize