Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
