why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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