I wish my penis had an off switch
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
