Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
This is not my ceiling
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
