Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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