he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
