Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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