I just saw a hot homeless man
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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