I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
