Betty ford says i'm here all night
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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