If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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