Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
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