I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I deserve to be covered in dicks
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
