3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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