oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
