Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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