I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
