I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
