Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
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