either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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