Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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