i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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