even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
