oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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