I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
