So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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