hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
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