Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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