i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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