Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
