i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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