Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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