A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
