omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Randomize
