Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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