Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
