This dress was meant to end up on your floor
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
then he tried to convert me to islam
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
