I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
