??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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