I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
You were trust falling into bushes
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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