I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
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