PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
