i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
