i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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