I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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