taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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