You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
