Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
