I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
