he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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