Soap is not a condiment
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
