Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
