Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
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Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
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He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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