Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
