my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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