your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
