So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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