At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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