Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
