69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
